Ok, again, a long time without writing. So, that losing scale thing? Turns out I was pregnant! HA! Explains a lot...

Just a short note today as I was finally able to go look at my best mate's blog. Reading it reminds me why I heart him profusely. You read it and you'll heart him, too.

Enjoy! www.glasgowtheday.blogspot.com


Hugs and bubbles,

The Laughing Muse

In the absence of cleverness, I give you someone else's

Ok, you'll notice I haven't written in a while. This is because I have been losing the war. I am actually going backwards on the scale instead of forward to a slimmer, more svelte me. I will resume the war in two weeks. After that, I'll let you know.

Now on to what I really wanted to tell you. There are many bloggers in the world. In a search to find out what your fingernails say about your diet. Yes, that's right, they can tell alot! I stumbled across this gem of a blog:

http://littlepitchers.blogspot.com/

I was laughing. A lot. I hope you do, too.

Be Well,

The Laughing Muse

And so begins the war on my body...

And I am going to win!

Even if I have to buy a new one! :)

Just kidding. Not long ago I was diagnosed as being insulin resistant. This is a fancy term for someone who is on their way to getting Type2 Diabetes. Essentially, my body in a fit of pique at my abusive treatment over the years has decided that refusing to process the insulin in my body correctly will show me("HA!" says the body, "HA HA!"). Of course, being me, my body knows that I am entirely too vain (thanks, Mom). So every pound added as a result of poor eating, little exercise, and I admit, a bit of depression, was like equivalent to 10 in my mind's eye.

You see, I grew up in a house of slim, short women. Yes, yes, ok my sister did get a little pudgy in highschool, but then she dropped the weight. Thus, leaving me the "full-figured" one of the family to stand out like a (albeit curvy) sore thumb. Granted, at the time, I thought at a size 10, that I was FAT. Having reached a MUCH bigger size than that, I really want to take a trip back in time and boot myself in the butt.

That was in the past, though, and I have digressed from my story (surprise?). Today I am highly overweight and now have the added challenge of a metabolism that will not metabolise. My doctors have recommended a few things:

1. A 1500 calorie-per-day diet low in carbohydrates (read: sugars), high in fiber, high in protien, and low in fat.
2. An exercise regime of at least 45 - 60 minutes of cardio with a minimum of 20 minutes at my peak heart rate - somewhere between 117 and 145.
3. Sleeping at least 7 to 8 hours per night.

This sounded daunting. My natural inclination to put everything off until the last minute also applied to doing something about my weight problem. The biggest challenge was figuring out how to be a full-time mom, full-time employee, full-time student, and full-time health conscious individual and still get somewhere between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night.

See the challenge? There are just somethings in the schedule that are not flexible, like the time my son has to go to school and the time I can pick him up from aftercare. Those times equal exactly 8 1/2 hours allowable for my job. So this means, taking a maximum of 30 minutes to eat healthy.

I thought at first I couldn't do it. So, I asked for a quote to have my most hated area of bodyfat removed. What a pipedream! The cost is completely out of my feasible income, unless I get a magnificant raise that doubles my salary... yet another pipedream! So... back to reality, I go. What can I really do? What is really feasible?

I spoke with my boss and asked if I could come in around 9 or 9:30. He, thankfully, agreed. In exchange, this means I have to do some work from home in the evenings. Granted, I've loaded up my already minimal 'at home in the evening' time, but I felt that the need to exercise on a daily basis and a focus on wellness will in the end enable me to be better engaged at work, at school, and at home in the long run.

I spoke with my child. I explained that I needed to excercise in the morning in order to be healthy.

We talked about the need to go to bed a little earlier, getting up a little earlier, and going to school a little earlier. We do have some challenges with this. Like me, my child loves to sleep - once you can get him to sleep that is!

We talked about the importance of exercising and eating right, something I had not been doing with my child to this point, and it is something that I want to instill before it is too late; before my child, too, faces the same physical challenges I do. As much as I love how much my child looks like me, my child also is built like me.

Then, came working on getting into the routine. Believe it or not, I like getting on the treadmill and working my heartrate. The time seems to go by very quickly for me. I don't read a magazine or a book. I don't watch the television. I listen to music.

When I was younger, I loved to go out dancing. Once the music started, I would have to be exhausted, very thirsty, or in need of the w.c. before I got off the dance floor. I'm talking easily 45 minutes straight of shakin' my groove thang. So, putting on music that I like, and just getting my body moving is wonderful. I sing (silently of course) and even boogie a bit (looking like a dork.. I don't care!). By the time I am done, I am energized and in a very good mood. I like this feeling up business! After so many years of feeling down, it's a wonderful, wonderful feeling. My only complaint is that it takes something like 45 minutes for my hair to dry, but don't even suggest a haircut... it's not going to happen!

Now comes the eating better part. This is the part with which I have the biggest challenge. I LOVE food. Food IS love, just ask my Nana. Ok, well, she passed away, but you get the point. I spent quite a lot of time with her when I was younger. She loved to feed me, and ohhhh the wonderful things she made... stuffed cabbage or peppers, pork with sauerkraut, potatoes, and barley, carrot cake with cream cheese dressing and maricino cherries, banana bread, chicken noodle soup (not from a can)... and when she cooked she made enough for an army. I swear her greatest joy was watching us stuff our faces. "Eat! Eat!" she'd say.

Today, I find that even now if someone comes for a visit my first question is "Are you hungry? Do you want me to make you something? I got... " I cook for a family of 10, even though there are just 2 of us. Back to the eating better part - obviously portion control is a problem. I eat because something just tastes good, not necessarily because I am hungry. Then comes the high-carbohydrate, high-fat diet on which I have lived for decades. Just for the record: more fat = more flavor.

In order to conquer my eating challenge, I have found an online calorie counting journal so I can keep up with the number of calories, carbohydrates, proteins, and fats I am consuming in a given day. Although, a diet can fail if there is not enough variety, I have a fairly standard plan of action for a menu. Why a journal? Everything I have read says to keep track of everything you put in your mouth so you can have a better understanding of what you consume and when. Being more cognizant of the quanitity of stuff that passes my lips is the first step toward eating better. The next step will be to replace my more high-fatfood loves with something a little more low-fat or non-fat.

Anyway, today is Day One of the body-seige. Feel free to provide some rhetoric and propaganda.

For the record:

This is where I begin:

• Height: 5'3
• Weight: 249
• Neck: 16 inches
• Shoulders: 55 inches
• Breast: 50B
• Chest: 45 inchest
• Waist: 48 inches
• Hips: 56 inches
• Thighs: 28 1/2 inches
• Pants: 24/26
• Shirts: 20/22
• Jackets: 24/26

How is that for bravery? I have published my embarrassing statistics for all the world to read. Maybe now I'll get off that size 56 butt and do something about it!

Now for the Day 1 Menu:

Breakfast:

• 1 cupKashi Whole-grain puff cereal
• 1 cup 1% milk
• 1 cup coffee, no sugar
• 1/4 cup blueberries (~24berries)

Lunch

• Mini-salad - 2 cups iceberg lettuce, 1 cup mushrooms raw, 1/4 cup Kraft natural shredded cheese, Kraft zesty italian dressing fat free
• Southbeach diet - Caprese Chicken entree

Dinner

• Ginger-curry chicken - my own recipe - chicken breast, bellpeppers, curry, ginger, lime, and garlic for flavor, long-grown brown rice, mushrooms

Snacks

• 1/4 cup almonds
• 1 orange
• 2 Yoplait Light, peach and strawberry yogurt.

Total Calories Consumed
1,491

Excercise for today is cleaning house. Wee.

:)

I will work to keep you updated on my progress or even if I fall off the wagon and give up!

One Big Happy Family

How (^$%$*^*^ cool is this?

While doing what I will call one of my favorite pass-times (aka Googling), I discovered this site. Are you hooked yet?

Well, let me digress for a moment, anyway! I love science. I am fascinated by documentaries on our “living planet” and “denizens of the deep;” mating habits of weird insects, BBC’s my breasts are too big – anything doing with people, animals, insects, vertebrates, invertebrates – are just really, really cool. I think it may have been early exposure to David Attenborough and Carl Sagan, but that’s neither here nor there. I just dig it!

DNA and geneology are another favorite area. So imagine how my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I clicked a link, which led me to the DNA Ancestry Project (http://www.dnaancestryproject.com/).

The project has three main focus areas:
“Find out where your ancestors came from, their ethnic background, and how they have scattered throughout the world today.”

From an anthropology perspective isn't this an exciting prospect?

“Find out whether you originated from the same ancestors as others around the world who share your last name. Instantly add entire branches to your family tree.”
“Search for long-lost family lines and generate professional reports.”

Talk about letting the family skeletons out of the closet! Just what my family needs, more loonies in the mix! Could I have more exclaimation points in this blog?

Hoo’ee!

And there’s more! You pay to swab your own mouth and then watch the project unfold via the internet.

“WHAT?!” you ask in disbelief, “I have to pay for this? They should pay me!” After all, they are getting willing subjects and funding for their project all at once.

Maybe, but wait! Think about this for a minute – first off, whoever came up with the idea to solicit for test subjects and get them to fund the project is BRILLIANT! Man, kudos that person! Secondly, it is geneology and genetics all rolled up into one! Screw getting paid for it, you’re contributing to the betterment of knowledge for humans as a whole. Trace the migrations of your kin across the continent based on DNA samples from early man to your next door neighbor! Plus, not only do you get to participate in the project, you can track it on the web!

I think I might have to swoon.

This excites the heck out of me.

Ok, ok, I know there’s a whole seedy underbelly aspect to this as well. Gattica, anyone? The more people submit their genes, the more opportunity to use them for heinous and nefarious plots. The next thing you know, sheep will be walking around on two legs and we’ll find ourselves acting out an episode of Dr. Who.

Added to that is the secondary part of the project, which is the online database for family trees. You are now providing your personal family information – names of kin, children, relatives – and setting yourself up for some serious stalking or identity theft with no guarantees for protection from the hosting company.

But, still! Wow! How fabulous!

I think I know what I want for my birthday!

WTF??

CNN.com "Three boys, 8 and 9, charged with raping 11-year-old girl

• Story Highlights
• 11-year-old girl tells police she was raped by trio of 8- and 9-year-old boys
  
• One boy's father says there was sex, but it was consensual
  
• Police say children that young can't consent to sex, so rape charges stand
  
• One of the boys reportedly threatened the girl with a rock, police chief says"

Do I really need to say anymore? Ok, ok, you talked me into it.


Parents get involved with your kids! Don't leave it til something like this happens. Be involved. Be active in their lives whether they like it or not. Get to know the school. Get to know the teachers, the folks in the lunchroom, the janitorial staff. Your child spends most of his or her day at school. Get to know the kids, as well.



Other than that, I am flabberghasted. Girls are (allegedly) willingly being gang-raped, too, if you didn't know ... so they can fit in.

Damn, I remember when having Firenza clothing was enough for that. And those stupid little barrette things with the beads on them. And... oh yes! Guess jeans.

I just... BAH!

Has it almost been three months? Really?

Wow.

I last posted a blog on September 1st. What the heck have I been doing? Aside from working, going to school, and being a mum; I guess I haven't been doing much of anything! Alright, before I lose track of them completely, here are some topics I will eventually get around to pondering:

• My weird-a** dreams
• School
• Niiiiiinja Warrior
• Creative Writing
• Leadership
• People, in a general sort of way
• Getting my head out of the sand
• Environmentalist guilt
• Medical things
• and other personal experiences

Hey, maybe by the time I get all those written I'll have figured it all out. Then of course I'll have to figure out just what "it" is. :)

Hugs and Bubbles!

LM

The Faker

Have you ever had one of those days where you just knew someone was going to out you at work? And, no, I don't mean out in the context of "out of the closet."

I have days where I feel as if I am just playing some game, pretending like I know what I am doing. Some days, I am shifting through trying to cobble together what I think is needed in a given situation. I do well. My work is respected. I am respected. But... sometimes I find myself looking around with hunched over shoulders expecting someone to stand up with righteous fury and point at me exclaiming, "FAKER!"

I know, it is paranoid and a little ridiculous. That is just my insecurities getting the best of me. Although I am not college-educated, I am working on it. Also, I do have several years of experience and a natural talent for my work. Maybe that is the clincher. In his song, New Horizons, David Gray sang,

"Things come too easy, I get suspicious
Things come too slow, I get bored
If it don't work out, I get superstitious
But if it does, oh my word!"

Those words resonated as true for me. Maybe, because it is fairly easy for me, I am suspicious. Perhaps, I need someone to just come along one day at work and say that I am a faker. I am not really some corporate person. I am just a kid still playing pretend at being adult.

I do wonder, though, how long does that feeling last? Is there hope of someday being sure enough of my talent and skills? Hm, that leads me to thinking of another thing to about which to write. I think, I will just sign off now.

I don't want to grow up, but I don't want to be a kid either.

Ugh. I think I am a perennial teen. God, help me.